Saturday, March 3, 2018

Radiator University, Summer 2018 course catalog

Hello prospective student. We here at Radiator University would like to apologize for the hiatus -- due to circumstances Beyond Our Control, all our course catalogs (printed materials, digital copies, and all backups) for Fall 2017 and Spring 2018 semesters were dumped off the side of the New Jersey Turnpike. We were puzzled as to why absolutely zero students enrolled in any classes throughout the whole academic year, but please rest assured that we have switched to a different vendor for all our printed materials in the future, and This Will Never Happen Again.

On behalf of RU, I'd like to invite all new and returning students to quadruple-enroll in various summer courses to make-up for the lost time. Here is a sample of our Summer 2018 course offerings:

Modern assault weapons are not just controversial, but also extremely ugly. In this class, we will conduct an art history analysis of firearms as aesthetic objects to understand how it all went wrong -- and link the decline of gun aesthetics with the decline of American moral authority since World War II, or maybe even before? Students will be expected to travel every weekend to apprentice under artistanal heritage gun smiths, and as a final project, design and manufacture a new type of firearm that reimagines the gun's relationship to nationalism -- the only constraint is that this new "speculative gun" cannot fire bullets or shells. What else can a gun do or be?

Offered only at West Virginia campus. Lab fee of US$11920.87, including accidental firearm discharge insurance, will be assessed by the university bursar. Prerequisites: at least 1 semester of both METL 200: INTRO TO METALURGY as well as HIST 92B: WESTERN THEORIES OF JUST WAR.


What does sex sound like? In this Masters Atelier, we will collaborate with various local adult and erotica studios to re-imagine the sonic landscape of pornography. We will understand pornography as a performance of movements timed to rhythm, within a long legacy of dance and theater as well as the industry convention of traditional film scoring. Students will be selected by local sex workers and performers to create original compositions and soundtracks for their work. Past students have researched Gregorian chants and blowjobs, country music cunnilingus, as well as hymen hymnals. By the end of this course, students will perceive arousal as a general problem of composition and rhythm.

Students not selected by any sex workers will be dropped automatically from the class. Students are also advised that funding for 100-piece philharmonic orchestras is strictly on a first-come basis. Prerequisites: GEND 102: INTRO TO GAZE THEORY... Also cross-listed as GEND 167D, DANCE 44, and FILM 121.


ECON 799A-799J: THREE YEAR SEMINAR -- EAT THE RICH (36 credits across 9 semesters)
In this long-form seminar open exclusively to second year undergraduate students, we will attempt to "eat the rich" in a process that will take approximately three years. In year 1, we will study wealth distribution and flows of capital to identify a moneyed candidate among the 15 million US$ millionaires throughout the world -- and then methodically research every aspect of their lives. Inspired by the 1997 mystery thriller film The Game, we will use year 2 to covertly embed ourselves in every aspect of the candidate's daily life, including but not limited to fictional business partnerships, romantic relationships such as marriage, and commandeering all local vendors and services surrounding their residence(s). In year 3, we will psychologically destroy the candidate by systematically isolating and devouring each of their relationships, financial assets, and memories, until the candidate doubts whether they ever existed at all. By the end of this course, the candidate will be left a quivering mass of flesh, with no monetary value nor identity nor soul to speak of. In doing so, we will argue that literal cannibalism is for amateurs.

Offered only at Wall Street campus. All enrolled students must sign over power of attorney to Radiator University, as well as relevant waivers and confidentiality agreements. Prerequisites: SOCE 201: INTERMEDIATE SOCIAL ENGINEERING.


We know you have a lot of choices when it comes to your education. We thank you for choosing Radiator University. Enroll now! Our accountants are standing by.

For your convenience, past course catalogs are available here.